23 Ways a Pastor can Lead the Church in Tangible 'One Another' Love

One of the many questions we pondered at the TCT Network meeting yesterday was this: “How can a pastor lead his church for growth in tangible 'one another' love?” Jesus said, “A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another” (John 13:34). The apostle John pressed it to the churches, “Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. No one has ever seen God; if we love one another, God abides in us and his love is perfected in us” (1 John 4:11-12).

One of the defining traits of Christians, and therefore what we purpose for our church plants, is love for one another. We call it “Mutual Care” in our 10 Dimensions of Church Life. Bethlehem Baptist, and the churches that we plant, specifically aim live out a “...corporate commitment to pursue a life together in sacrificial faith-sustaining care for each other in loving relationships at every level of youth and age, joy and sorrow, comfort and crisis, health and brokenness.” (From the 10 Dimensions of Church Life, TCT Vision)

The list below represents the fruit of our ponderings.


23 ways a pastor can lead his church for growth in tangible 'one another' love:

1. Teach and preach the biblical texts and God-enabled ground of our love for one another (1 Peter 1:22).
2. Put all efforts of 'one another' love in the context of our oneness in Christ (Ephesians 4:1-3).
3. Verbally express your gratitude and thankfulness (cf. Romans 16).
4. Verbally express your love (1 Thessalonians 2:8; 2 Corinthians 11:11; cf. Romans 16).
5. Express appropriate physical affection for others (1 Peter 5:14; cf. Matthew 19:13-15).
6. Pray for your people to love one another more and tell them so (1 Thessalonians 3:12).
7. Model hospitality (1 Peter 4:8-9; cf. 1 Peter 5:3).
8. Model compassion (1 John 3:16-18; cf. 1 Peter 5:3).
9. Plan and structure the church calendar to provide occasions to love one another.
10. Call your people by name (cf. Romans 16; John 10:3).
11. Be quick to listen to your people and respond accordingly. Let them know that you are listening to them (cf. Ephesians 4:29).
12. Be vulnerable with one another. Be open about your own shortcomings. Even be open about your struggles to love others.
13. Give people attention (“oxygenate people with attention”). Give others your time and energy.
14. Tell people how they have blessed you (Ephesians 1:15-16).
15. Do not just wait for others to come to you, but seek out people in your church.
16. Write a hand written note of hope or encouragement to someone.
17. Visit someone in his or her own home.
18. Be humble enough to learn from others.
19. Follow up with others on events, situations in their lives.
20. Pray for others (Ephesians 3:14-19).
21. Bear the burdens of others (Galatians 6:2) in prayer and action.
22. Be in accountable relationships. Admonish, rebuke, discipline and correct in love (1 Thessalonians 5:14; 2 Timothy 2:24-25, 4:2).
    

Recommended Books: “Charity and its Fruits” by Jonathan Edwards and “Leading with Love” by Alexander Strach.

I am praying for you as church planters and leaders, that the LORD may “... make you increase and abound in love for one another and for all, as we do for you...”

Your brother,

Kenny